Mom and the 4th of July

I have not posted on my blog for a really long time. It's not that there have not been plenty of things to write about but I just don't do it! I don't know why because I really love to. Here is to turning over a new leaf and getting back on the bandwagon.

We just finished up the Independence Day weekend and I was glad I had no festivities to attend. Having just returned from a long trip and catching a cold I really felt down in the dumps. What really got me down even further was recollecting that it was 20 years ago after the 4th of July that my mom died. I am so thankful we made last minute plans to head up north to visit my parents that year and celebrate the holiday. Little did I know it would be the last time we would have a holiday or any day together. The 4th of July will always be a bittersweet time for me.

My mom was always so sweet and we were sure to have had a dessert, jell-o or fruit salad with the red white and blue of strawberries, blueberries and whipped cream! There would be food on the grill and her homemade baked beans which were the best in the land! My sister, Mary, makes a pretty great batch from Mom's original recipe! I can't make the beans but I learned my potato salad skills from her. That recipe is in my head! The holiday lives on with Mom's recipes but for the last 20 years it has been difficult not to be eating them out of her bowls, on her dishes and in her kitchen. I miss my mom every day but still am so thankful we went on a whim for the Independence Day holiday to see her smiling face,  hear her great laugh and be with her for my very last time.

I love you, Mom. My heart still hurts without you. Every. Single. Day.